The esteemed Facebook workout page "LiquorGunsBaconandTits2" posted this one over the weekend, a "failsafe" inspiration to get men inspired to workout.
"So the wife said I was getting chubby and suggested I get a workout partner," the video is captioned, "Problem solved."
Fair enough. But let's break down the deep, underlying issues with this misleading video.
Most obvious, let's start with the static stretching that goes on in the first 20 seconds of the video. Ten second toe-touches and calf-stretches before a warm up? Fitness experts say NAH SON: athletes should get their heart rate up and muscles loose before performing a static stretch. "Your warm-up should consist of dynamic stretching, rolling out, or light running." says FitnessTogether ex-manager Johnny Tequila. Johnny knows.
Next, the outfit. I'm all for women wearing whatever they want during an individual workout, but this is supposed to be a professional trainer -- to show up in shorts during a cold autumn day (no leaves on the trees) without high socks, leggings, or the like, is not only impractical but borderline professional-negligence. Fitness experts say LAYER UP: in those cold months, you want light layers underneath heavier ones, so you can shed as your body heats up. "To begin a workout with limited layering is simply unheard of in the winter. You are asking for pneumonia," Douchebag McBicepcurls adds, from Fitness Weekly.
Lastly, the footwear. High-cushion, low grip shoes + trail running = broken ankles. Fitness experts say WHAT, BITCH?: for rocky, insecure paths, go with a pair of trail shoes that come up above the ankle or a running/trail hybrid with lots of grip on the sole. This guy might be inspired to get out there and run, but when he ends up at home RICE-ing his ankle like Prometheus-bound after his partner sets a bad example that's where the inspiration stops and the bills start adding up because you do manual labor for a living and got hurt off the job and now your baby is wailing all night long because you can't feed her and your wife thinks you're hoarding all the food because you're still fat, "I told you it's genetics!" you cry but she takes the baby and goes to her parents and you're left with nothing but diabetes and a crumbling home. #NoWorkmansComp
So, what started out as a simple self-help fitness video is really a commentary on the trappings of working out with a neglectful trainer. Do yourself a favor and vet your trainer's credentials properly before you go off in the woods running with them. You'll thank me later.