5 hilarious facts from classic films that are not true at all

December 22, 2016

We've all seen them, yet only astute observers and geeks have ever been able to pick up on these little known yet loling facts from some of our favorite shows and films. They are absolutely not true, accurate, or based on anything at all, but you should still read them. 


5. "Draw me like one of your French girls." Leo takes drawing class.

The Jack-draws-Rose scene was as formative for Titanic as it was for 10 year-old boys everywhere, whose folks thought they were taking them to a PG-13 piece of art and ended up with 5 minutes of perky Kate Winslet breasts to contest with. But this defining scene in James Cameron's classic love story is less known for the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio actually took boob-drawing classes at his local university in order to be able to draw these boobs for the film. 


"They taught me to draw the boobies there," Leo told reporters. Indeed, Leo.


4. "Are you not entertained?" Scenes from The Gladiator filmed in original Coliseum. 

Always attentive to details big and small, director Ridley Scott spared no expense or destination for the filming of his Academy Award Winning, 2000 epic. All of the gladiator battle sequences were fought in the original Roman amphitheater, in front of a live audience of about 60,000 original Romans. From the film, you couldn't even tell the scenes were all filmed in the decrepit monument of Imperial Rome that looks nothing like the picture above. Impressive stuff. 


Similarly impressive, Russell Crowe actually killed those two of the tigers during the battle with Tigris the Gaul. He then yelled "Roma Invictus!" and stabbed himself in the arm with some of their tranquilizers. Apparently he was fucked up on benzos for his entire stay in Rome. Who'da known?


3. It's A Wonderful Life... if your pharmacist doesn't mix up all your pills. 

Ranked as the #1 Most Inspirational Film of All Time by the American Film Institute, It's a Wonderful Life (1946), starring Jimmy Stewart, is a Christmastime classic. It follows the story of George Bailey who, guided by an angel, gets to see what his small world would look like if he had never been born. 


It is a tear-jerker about the impact one man can make on a community and what a community can do for a man. 


But the writers originally wanted it to be a story about a drunken pharmacist who abuses children. In the film, Mr. Gower is a sad drunk who slaps a young George Bailey in the ear after George catches him mixing up the prescriptions again. Apparently, the writers wanted to keep the story centered on Mr. Gower's shop and the communal effects of mixing of a bunch of people's 'scripts. 


One deleted scene from the movie shows a bunch of the local kids dwarfed up on ether, making anti-Semitic jokes in the school library. What's more, one of the opening scenes, where George falls through the ice, was meant to be a result of mixing cold medication and cocaine, which was legal in the 40s. 


Obviously, a lot of that writing got censored out, and we were left with the heartwarming tale we've all come to know and love.. and drunk Uncle Billy. 


2. So much Redemption (and feces)!

The 1994 drama The Shawshank Redemption, starring Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins, has a number of memorable scenes, but perhaps none more iconic than when Robbins' character, Andy Dufresne, spills his feces-filled-face into the drainage pit 500 yards outside of his prison walls and into the free world.


What we don't realize about this scene is that Robbins actually had to crawl through a pipe full of human feces in order to film. The movie was already well-over budget and schedule and they simply did not have the time or funds to construct a 500-yard long pipe and fill it with a suitable substitute for human waste, so they just took the shit-pipe that was already connected to the jail and let Robbins hurl his way through it.


Sepsis and Hepatitis A are a small price to pay for freedom and movie rankings! And, fortunately, Robbins had already acquired HIV from spending 20 years in prison and getting shower sexed by the Sisters, so he didn't have to worry about adding that one to the bucket list. 


1. A buddy of mine wrote The Godfather

Some kid I went to high school with. Yup. Wrote the whole thing. Typed most of it up on his iPhone. Didn't really take him that long, either. 





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