The White Wolf

April 14, 2017

We spent 2016 fist over fist fighting for crumbs of coke ruining relationships deflecting truth judging moderating lying to everyone with ears to hear


We wasted 2016 getting blackout fearing sleep dreaming until only an oxy and the light of god could send us to rem


We rubbed ourselves raw, searched asian deepthroat dildo distension schoolgirl fucking, jerked off at the auto zone, on the freeway, on your sweaty couch, soaked it up in our boxers and walked around for the day shaking hands with suits and dads, rented a fucking video, pirated HBO for Denaerys Targaryen, jizzed right on the tv when she paused on the edge of that hot bath in her million dollar tit scene


We killed 2016 in the classroom in the courtroom in the stock market in the kitchen the grocery store, we walked up to each and every one of you looked you in the shining face and said I’m good! I’m good! I’m really enjoying California, I reaaly like my job, I like working I like money I like taxes I like hangovers I like you! 


We forgot 2016 in a fucking instant—your flapping trumpism () your videogame terroriste busdriver () your antpile of a billion refugees—we ate with spoons of bone and did back flips off yachts and hung out with millionaire addicts who designed the pink moustache for Lyft and Snapfilter #100 who fed us grapefruit flavored oxygen at 4 am and IV drips for lunch 


We backed out of old promises, called in old favors, forgot half of you, at least


We thought we were cashed out 


We hit like a hundred thousand times and didn't mean it, thumbed up unread pieces, shared celebrity obituaries without skimming the story or listening to their music or watching their films


We didn't vote


We didn't church


We rented everything


We praised everything


We respected nothing


We avoided ownership like commitment like protected sex like the plague like uncraft beer like sex with a white woman who had sex with many black men


We headbanged the car, broke the internet, shat on our borrowed bodies, bloodied our noses mushed our brain sold our shame ripped our dicks off and saved them for lunch in a pyrex


And then, when our serotonins were rock bottomed and we hadn't heard a clear voice in weeks, splayed out in a child’s pose, hearts grounding to earth, 

We whispered to whoever was listening, 

 We can stop feeding evil wolf, 

 We know how to be good, 

 We can skate the river, fly the peak, 

 Douse those trails of fire behind us with word and deed, 


Speaking to the mother at our feet, crying out to a father above, 

 We want to repent! We want to love deeply, to have many daughters,

 We want to walk into a crowded room and not burn, to give life, to clear the heinous browser history of our soul and fill it back with righteousness and grace, 


 We want to know the way. Show us the way. Then just give us a few more days, another year,

  to decide.

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