EPL's Most Interesting Number 10s

September 24, 2017

After a well-gathered piece from espnFC this weekend, which listed Mesut Ozil (The Outright Assister), Dele Alli (The Hybrid), Shinji Okazaki (The Defensive Forward), and others amongst their rangy list of Number 10s in the English Premier League, we've decided to add on to the process, listing some of the more obscure, and even more untraditional number 10s to emerge in the past few years.

 

If the Number 10 is the martini of the football pitch, these lads are the twist of spice that give your essential cocktail a real holiday flavor.

 

Peter Crouch - The Ugly Giant

Doesn't really occupy a central role, make plays, or do much with his feet, but has been known to sometimes drift back onto the defensive side of the pitch -- though usually only after a goal has been scored; 8 feet tall.

 

Jack Wilshere - The Perpetually Crippled

Arsenal wunderkid who never quite panned out; Gunner supporters wait in anxious/hopeless anticipation of the day this man will be able to play more than 3 games in a row.

 

Sergio Aguero - The Forward Who Just Wears #10

Pure goalscorer; plays alone up top or in a striking duo; not a number 10 by any means, but he wears the number, and we are petty.

 

David Luis - The #10 Fanboy

Leaves huge gaps in his defensive line so that he can maraud forward; argues with his teammates about who should take free kicks; tries to murder other #10s to move higher up in the pecking order.

 

Charlie Adam - The Questionably Retired

 

1:1 goal to red card ratio; once scored from half field; oft mistaken at pubs for your dad; possibly your dad.

 

Marouane Fellaini - The Asshole

Mostly a collection of flying elbows and shin passes; range of passing <20 feet; voted EPLs least favorite man to play with or against; one time threatened to shave his head.

 

Taylor Gorman - The Stinky Footed

Not a real premier league player; scored an off-footed goal in Sunday league one time; from Maine; needs to wear two pairs of socks.

 

 

 

 

 

Please reload

Featured Posts

Narfboy Movie Reviews: Stranger Things 3

July 6, 2019

1/10
Please reload

Archive
Please reload