Last night we had some shots of tequila and turned on "The Favourite" which is a movie about how the Queen of England raised rabbits and sometimes got lost in her own giant castle.
It begins with Emma Stone falling out of a horse carriage into a pile of poop and continues with how the Queen likes her because she doesn't clean the poop off her head before they meet and shake hands.
I think this part was supposed to be a metaphor but my wife and I both laughed.
The Queen is Olivia Coleman who is a funny lady struggling to rule her queendom which is at war because her constituents are trying to get precious metals from mainland Europe to help pay for the Queen's prosthetic legs, which are supposedly really expensive in this time period.
The Queen has a best friend named Rachel Weisz who you might remember from The Mummy; they have a trusting relationship but it gets testy because Rachel thinks the Queen is just fine without the robot legs and the Queen doesn't agree so Emma Stone slides in there trying to become the Queen's new best friend. She shows Emma her rabbits: each of them has their own castle in which to live and a full time butler who takes them swimming on the weekends. Rachel gives the Queen a bath in a tub full of butter to show how much she loves the Queen and the Queen likes it. Later on, the Queen sees Emma hitting herself in the face with a book and she says, "Hey, that's not how you learn to read," and there is a montage where Emma becomes really good at reading.
Here is when Emma begins reading the opening lines to a book the Queen gives her called "Modern Astrophysics"
There are some men in the movie too, but they are all dunces. One of them is the war pup Nux from Mad Max: Fury Road who grew a giant wig but is still wearing the same makeup from that movie and the other is a guy who pays Emma Stone a million dollars to masturbate him while she talks about all the other movies she has starred in. At one point he body slams her in a pile of leaves and she says, "I don't like that." They get married later.
This is one of the men who is in this movie in a scene where he drives the Queen's bunnies to school in a BMW.
Ultimately, the Queen has Rachel and Emma compete in a contest to see who is willing to go down on her the longest. Emma wins and she becomes the new Queen, but then the movie ends so we don't get to see if the old Queen got her prosthetic legs or not which was kind of a bummer because that is what I thought was the whole point of the movie.
In all, it was a good one and I give it a score of six narfs. It is now available to buy or rent from the internet.
Here is the Queen trying to untie a knot which is one of her favourite pastimes hence the name of the movie.